Love, Eros, and Sex – The constant revealing of soul to soul by two individuals with emotional and spiritual maturity is the “secret” of a lasting relationship and the true meaning of marriage. But it must be centered around the Divine beyond selfish interest or mistaking eros (romance) and sex for love. In that way both partners descend and ascend together, revealing more and more to each other, bringing everyting up that needs to come up, using the crucible of a sacred relationship as the alchemical catalyst to bring both people closer to God/the Divine and essentially closer to their true Selfs. True Love is a constant revelation without end in this human experience. All masks must drop, whatever is hidden in the subconscious needs to come up, all wounds and shadow aspects. We can only rise in Love as much as we are willing to go down below beyond the external crust of personality.
Physical revelation is easy for many. Emotionally you share to a certain degree—usually as far as eros carries you. But then you lock the door, and that is the moment when your troubles begin.
“An important element is missing [in many relationships]: the revealing of soul to soul as much as possible. Only when two people do this can they be purified together and thus help each other. Two developed souls, who have a knowledge of purification in their subconscious, can yet fulfill one another by revealing themselves, by searching the depths of the other’s soul. Thus what is in each soul will emerge into their conscious minds, and purification will take place. Then the life-spark is maintained so that the relationship can never stagnate and degenerate into a dead end. For you who are on this path, it will be easier to overcome the pitfalls and dangers of the marital relationship and to repair damage that has occurred unwittingly.
In this way, my dear friends, you not only maintain eros, that vibrating life-force, but you also transform it into true love. Only in a true partnership of love and eros can you discover in your partner new levels of being you have not heretofore perceived. And you yourself will be purified also by putting away your pride and revealing yourself as you really are. Your relationship will always be new, regardless of how well you think you know each other already. All masks must fall, not only the superficial but the real, which you may not even have been aware of. Then your love will remain alive. It will never be static; it will never stagnate. You will never have to search elsewhere. There is so much to see and discover in this land of the other soul you have chosen, whom you continue to respect, but in whom you seem to miss the life-spark that once brought you together. You will never have to be afraid of losing the love of your beloved; this fear will be justified only if you refrain from risking the journey of self-revelation together. This, my friends, is marriage in its true sense and the only way it can be the glory it is supposed to be.
Each of you should think deeply about whether you are afraid to leave the four walls of your own separateness. Some of my friends are unaware that to stay separate is almost a conscious wish. With many of you it is this way: you desire marriage because one part of you yearns for it—and also because you do not want to be alone. Quite superficial and vain reasons may be added to explain the deep yearning within your soul. But aside from this yearning and aside from the superficial and selfish motives of your unfulfilled desire for partnership, there must also be an unwillingness to risk the journey and adventure of revealing yourself. An integral part of life remains to be fulfilled by you—if not in this life, then in future lives.
Should you find yourself alone, you may, with this knowledge and this truth, repair the damage that you have done to your own soul by harboring wrong concepts in your unconscious. You may discover your fear of the great adventurous journey with another, which will explain why you are alone. This understanding should prove helpful and may even enable your emotions to change sufficiently so that your outer life may change too. This depends on you. Whoever is unwilling to take the risk of this great adventure cannot succeed in the greatest venture humanity knows—marriage.
Only when you meet love, life, and the other being in such readiness will you be able to bestow the greatest gift on your beloved, namely your true self. And then you must inevitably receive the same gift from your beloved. But to do that, a certain emotional and spiritual maturity has to exist. If this maturity is present, you will intuitively choose the right partner, one who has, in essence, the same maturity and readiness to embark on this journey. The choice of a partner who is unwilling comes out of the hidden fear of undertaking the journey yourself. You magnetically draw people and situations toward you which correspond to your subconscious desires and fears. You know that.
Humanity, on the whole, is very far away from this ideal, but that does not change the idea or the ideal. In the meantime you have to learn to make the best of it. And you who are fortunate enough to be on this path can learn much wherever you stand, be it only in understanding why you cannot realize the happiness that a part of your soul yearns for. To discover that is already a great deal and will enable you in this life or in future lives to get nearer to the realization of this idea. Whatever your situation is, whether you have a partner or are alone, search your heart and it will furnish you the answer to your conflict. The answer must come from within yourself, and in all probability it will relate to your own fear, unwillingness, and your ignorance of the facts. Search and you will know. Understand that God’s purpose in the partnership of love is the complete mutual revelation of one soul to another—not just a partial revelation.”