When we’ve been repeatedly hurt and disappointed in relationships, it’s easy to become jaded.
The temptation to not only blame our ex-partners but to generalize our pain onto entire genders is strong.
Men blame women. Women blame men. And the cycle continues.
Blame Is Loosh: How I Fed Entities Through My Relationship Wounds
The wounded ego clings to pride, and the intellect jumps in to rationalize our projections again and again. It becomes a release valve for pain, grief, and shame that hide beneath the surface of our anger.
It feels good to vent… for a moment.
But there’s a price to be paid.
I’ve certainly been there.
I have my own stories of betrayal and heartbreak, and I remember how my unprocessed anger toward women turned into projections—projections that were validated by other men carrying the same wounds. It often spiraled into a collective loosh fest of “justified” blame.
We projected our pain onto women, and we all know how entities feed on that shadow dance—injecting more blame, seeking false “accountability,” and trapping us in the blame game.
My favorite tactic? I’d blame the woman:
“You’re not doing the inner work—but I am! You need therapy!”
Truth was… I wasn’t doing the real work either.
And I projected that onto “the other.”
In the moment, it felt good. The ego fed on it—and the entities through it—especially when others reinforced the story.
But in the long run?
I felt empty, depleted, lonely, and I kept attracting the “wrong” women… mirroring unresolved wounds within myself.
The hard truth?
I had to take full accountability—not just for my projections but also for my choices, actions, and what I was attracting into my life.
It wasn’t until I came across this quote by Liz Greene (below) that something clicked. I realized I’d been lying to myself. I wasn’t sincerely engaged in shadow work—or the deeper Anima integration work that’s required for men.
My clever Aquarian intellect rationalized everything.
I mistook what Sri Aurobindo called “the charlatan within” for my true Self.
Breaking free from projection-based, blame consciousness has been one of the hardest—but most liberating—initiations of my life.
It meant letting go of blame.
Not just toward exes or women… but toward everyone:
Parents. The government. The elites. Entities. Aliens. My birth chart. Transits. Mercury retrograde. You name it.
And when you stop blaming?
You stand in what Carl Jung called “The House of Gathering.”
It’s a sacred, uncomfortable space—what he also called “holding the tension of opposites.”
And then the flood gates open:
All the suppressed, repressed, and denied emotions—the wounded inner child, the fragmented sub-personalities—begin to surface.
And that’s when the real work of integration and individuation begins.
And it’s not pretty at first.
As Robert Moore put it:
“Anytime that you’re really doing shadow work and truly encountering your shadow, you are going to feel some revulsion about what you’re now coming to know about yourself.”
But the only way out is in. And through.
According to David Hawkins and his Map of Consciousness, the key threshold we must cross is Pride—especially the kind of pride disguised as “justified blame.”
Only by transcending victim/blame consciousness, no matter how cleverly it’s disguised, can we begin to heal… and ultimately attract (or be attracted to) a partner who mirrors our true Self, not our unresolved shadow.
For women, this work is centered around Animus integration.
For men, it’s the integration of the Anima.
It’s ongoing work. I still slip up at times and indulge in projections. These critters are persistent.
They’re hungry beings, and they want that loosh through us.
Food for thought—no pun intended.
Godspeed,
Bernhard
www.veilofrealitycourses./relationships-as-a-path-of-awakening
“Individuals blind to the sexual opposite within them, be they men or women, never realize that the partner they choose is chosen because he or she bears some resemblance to the anima or animus.
The anger and hurt felt at the ‘true discovery’ of the partner’s failings is really anger and hurt directed at oneself; and this would become apparent, were one to see the dark figure within one’s own unconscious impelling one into a particular relationship.
Like always attracts like; rather than railing at the partner, one should take a long, close look at one’s own psychic makeup.
But it is easier to complain bitterly—to analysts, marriage counsellors, and astrologers—that yet another relationship has collapsed and yet another partner has proved to be a bad choice.
It is also fashionable to blame the failures of the parent of the opposite sex; but the past continues to live within a person not only because it is part of their substance, but also because they permit it to do so.
When a disastrous relationship occurs once, it may seem like chance.
When it occurs twice, it becomes a pattern—and a pattern is unmistakable evidence that the anima or animus is at work in the unconscious, propelling the helpless ego into baffling, painful, and frighteningly repetitive relationships.
It is wiser to look within for the source of the pattern, rather than at the inherent failure of the opposite sex.
For these destructive patterns are the psyche’s way of making itself known, although great effort is required to fulfill its demand for transformation—and great sacrifices are also required: one’s pride, one’s self-image, one’s self-righteousness.”
― Liz Greene
www.lohas-magazin.de/veil-of-reality
When Following Your Dream Can Turn Into A Nightmare
And You Lose Yourself In The Proces
Learn More Here:
Becoming Who You Are Meant To Be
How To Heal Toxic Shame And Not Feeling “Good Enough”
Your Psychological And Spiritual Survival Guide For 2024
Toxic Shame Is Spiritual Bankruptcy
“Toxic shame is unbearable and always necessitates a cover-up, a false self. Since one feels his true self is defective and flawed, one needs a false self that is not defective and flawed.
It is crucial to see that the false self may be as polar opposite as a superachieving perfectionist or an addict in an alley. Both are driven to cover up their deep sense of self-rupture, the hole in their soul.
They may cover up in ways that look polar opposite, but each is still driven by neurotic shame.
In fact, the most paradoxical aspect of neurotic shame is that it is the core motivator of the superachieved and the underachieved, the star and the scapegoat, the righteous and the wretched, the powerful and the pathetic.
Toxic shame looks to the outside for happiness and validation since the inside is flawed and defective. Toxic shame is spiritual bankruptcy.”
– John Bradshaw, “Healing the Shame That Binds You”
We talk more about it on our recent Cosmic Matrix podcast episode, “Your Psychological And Spiritual Survival Guide For 2024,” where we give an overview of what to expect in this new year from a physical, psychological, and spiritual perspective. We give practical tools and advice on how to align with the evolutionary forces and use them to catalyze your growth and ride the immense waves of change during this Time of Transition
By Bernhard Guenther, January, 2024
